You never know what might be going on in someone’s life.
This topic has come up a lot with friends and colleagues recently. Never trust your first judgment to help you make a decision about what you think about someone. The people who look like they have it all together may have a lot brewing under the surface, or the disgruntled person at the cash register may have something deeper going on than just a bad day. Trust in compassion and an open heart.
I ask that of you right now for myself. I ask for love and support for no good reason other than we are all good people trying to find our way.
Smile just for the hell of it!
Laugh for no good reason, other than it feels good. Stay positive even in the hardest of times.
Someone close to me always tells me I live in a fantasy world and that I fear when things are not happy or good. There is a hint of truth with the fear part…mostly it is an uneasiness I feel. But my reality might be other peoples’ fantasies since I choose to live in the light and make a difference as much as I can. To be brave and make the choice to find happiness.
Happiness is in the heart of the beholder
No one else can make you happy but you. This is why I ask again: Be kind. Your words hold a lot of worth, even if you don’t feel they do or act out of impulse. Take a breath before you speak and remember, our throats are the portal to how we connect to the divine and to others around us. Keep this space clean and practice loving kindness with your words, and you will find that this practice brings you a world of healing to yourself and to others.
Above all, remember…no one can tell you how to love them. Love is only practiced without attachment or expectations. Love is free, no one can make you do it and others do not have to give it. Live with an open heart and see the life inside you change and heal.
My version of the Loving Kindness Meditation
Sit for a moment quietly and take 3 slow deep breaths, in through your nose and out through your mouth.
Bring your peace fingers to your heart center and massage this space in a clockwise direction as you breath.
On your third exhalation, noticeably relax and soften your jaw.
Bring your awareness to your heart and take a few breaths. Become familiar with this space.
Relax your fingers when you feel you are there in the heart.
Begin to focus on this space and bring to mind someone you easily love.
Hold that person in your mind and heart for several breaths and notice how easy it is to feel this person in your heart.
Your heart may feel open and free. Keep that space open and say out loud to that person in your mind: “May you be loved, May you go in peace”.
Then smile at the person in your mind and watch them turn and walk away.
Next, keeping your heart just as open, see a person in your mind you don’t really know…it could be a neighbor, the post man, person next to you in yoga class, and do the same: Keep your heart wide open, smile at them and take a few breaths.
It’s OK that it is not that easy, just do your best.
And with a wide open heart, say “May you be loved, may you go in peace”.
And watch them turn and walk away.
Now keep that heart space open, your throat clear and free and draw into your mind someone who brings you hurt or sorrow.
Hold them in your mind and keep that heart open.
Smile at that person. Do your best, don’t fight it. Remember loving kindness is so healing.
Take several breaths into your heart, keep that space free, inhale any tension you may feel in through the nose and out the mouth.
And say with a smile, “May you be loved, may you go in peace”.
Once again, breathe, soften yourself completely. Lie down even if you must, and relax for a moment before you open your eyes.
Loving Kindness Meditations can be found in many Buddhist-inspired books. A nice one can be found in Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach on page 278.
Good luck on your healing journey!