Human behavior is interesting. When I post something saying I am angry, I get so much response!
When I write articles of love and kindness… people are silent.
I try not to worry about what others are thinking. It is a hard effort, but I have to be accountable for my own thoughts and not the thoughts of others.
I wonder why people are so attracted to conflict. Why people can talk and talk and talk about the bad so much. It is a short conversation when you talk about all the good, it seems. No drama, no worry, no fear. Having a non-fear based conversation is rare. When do I not tell you what I am worried about?
I remember being in love. I remember when I met my husband, the sky couldn’t get any bluer. My love I felt consumed me. I talked about him all the time with such a smile on my face and my friends looked bored to hear about it so much. But when the drama started, they were all ears, right there by my side to bitch about it! I know because I have been that friend that lent that kind of support, too.
I am a better listener than I ever was before, thank goodness. It was not easy at first. I really had to watch people’s mouths when they talked, and their body language, to make sure I was paying attention. This was a part of a throat chakra exercise I created for myself after a bad ear infection. I even did a day of silence whenever I could, to become a better listener in and out.
SLOOOOWWWW DOWWWWN… don’t text too fast or write an email more than 5 lines long.
I try not to post too much about myself online or text beyond confirmations much that it would ever replace an actual connection to people. I am not afraid to pick up a phone and call, though I have found over the years certain friends will only reach out via text or a Facebook “like”. It’s not what I call support.
Or the “Hey, how is it going?” via text. not sure what I am supposed to write back. “I am having a rough time now, and here are all the details…” in a text message? It is better to respond, “if you have a moment to talk all me, I will be around”. I have done it before, and it works for those who really care.
SLOOOOWWW DOWWWWN… don’t jump to conclusions.
In these observations of people in my culture, I find myself asking, am I making a judgment or an actual factual conclusion? I am not sure, but I do know when I write my blogs and there is something in it that says I AM UNHAPPY, I get a lot more reads than when I say HERE IS THE KEY TO HAPPINESS.
Hey, it’s my blog so I will cry if I want to, but I always try to make sure that people know and understand that behind these emotions or experiences there is always an opportunity to GROW. To nurture my spirit no matter how broken or together it may feel. Life is ever-changing, and it’s really all about changing, isn’t it?
SLOOOOWWWW DOWWWWWN… enjoy an experience in the present and feel what you feel.
So, this past month I talked about how my yoga practice has gone very yin based in my studio newsletter. I enjoy just hanging out in a pose, making myself be present and going to my edge, while resting. My physical level of activity is up with working out, swimming with the kids and going to the playground, so I decided to cool it down.
I listened to myself when I got to what Ayurveda calls PITTA, or the fiery aspect of the human make up. When my PITTA is too high, I am easily aggravated, hard to focus and too intense.
So what is this mish mosh of stuff about today? Well, how about this; be kind to each other and listen to each other… you never know what is going on in someone’s life. Don’t ever assume that you do. Heck, half the time I don’t know what is going on in my life, since I am a poor listener to myself at times. That is until I sit and meditate or do yoga asana, breathe, or just spend time with the little people in my life, like my kids, who are filled with carefree energy. Life moves too fast some days. I am only truly observant of my behavior so much, so I have learned to TRY to slow down.
If you want to know something, or “what happened” or “why you look so blue”, ask and TRULY listen. If you don’t care enough to sit and listen and only care about the chatter, the “he said she said”, and the harmful part of the story, then you aren’t practicing your yoga and your best self. By asking, you are initiating “I am here to support you. Do you want me to just listen, or will it help to hear what I have to say?”. If the openness is there, offer up some loving kindness.
SLOOWWWWW DOWNNNN… don’t react so fast, and process.
If you don’t feel supported in your life, try this simple I AM SUPPORTED exercise. I just did this for myself recently and called a friend who I knew would tell me how it is, but also would present me with loving kindness so I could cool that PITTA down.
Write down what is bothering you, using this statement:
I do not feel supported in my life with my __________. End it the way that suits your needs. Write at least 10 I am not feeling supported in statements, and see where the path leads you.
Then try, I want to be supported in my life with my __________. Do this 10 times.
Keep writing until you get to the real issue. Usually it is far from the original agitation.
Now invoke the 100% positive, I am supported in my life with my __________, and I have the power to create the changes I need.
Good luck. I truly honor you and where you are on your path. I know it will lead you to the right place…