Finding Tranquility Everyday Day 23: The Tranquil Relationship

This is probably the toughest thing to approach in finding tranquility, because it includes other people. I find myself exhausted a lot at the end of a day, usually satisfied, but exhausted. There is a lot of doing going on, and not a lot of being on some days.

When you are playing the role you play to others, you are in other relationships all the time. People expect a lot from you, but sometimes are not always clear on what they want. In the end you let them down sometimes, and you might wonder why.

My kids do a great job at telling me how I let them down, or what upset them. We do a good job of letting them know they have a right to feel what they feel. Customers usually will let you know when they are satisfied or unsatisfied. I do a good job at letting them know I take all of that seriously. Where it gets complicated is with family and partners for must of us.

Practice Love - A Loving Kindness Meditation

Speak your truth.

I come from a family where it was better to not tell people what you felt, you did not want to offend someone, even if they were in the wrong. I was a poor communicator of emotions from the beginning, I had two volumes, happy/satisfied, or angry/unsatisfied. I learned stonewalling from my family. You could always talk to Mom of course, she is the one who listens, but getting the message to the person who hurt you, and you were usually met with anger or dismay.

Today, I try to tell most people how I feel. With certain relationships, I am met with challenge, usually that I have no right to feel what I feel. I find that I have to let those kind of people say what they need to say first, sort of the dumping ground so they can release, then I have to be submissive to it and pretend that it is all ok just so we can move on. I do not do well that that.

It is hard to be so unheard all the time. It is tiring initiating all the guts in a relationship all the time. You have to be the planner, the communicator, the nurturer, the initiator and of course know your role of expectation well. Sounds a bit one sided to me.

Relationship Wish-List

When you are busy with all your other roles, it is hard to keep up with the ones where people expect the most out of you. Here is what I know about myself and my relationship wish list for all of my important relationships.

I don’t want to hurt anymore.

I don’t want to be the one who hurts someone else.

I want to be accepted for who I am.

I don’t want to be the one who is doing all the work, making the phone calls, setting up plans, and creating the space for intimacy.

I want to be submissive, but also want that from my other relationships too, I cannot always be the one who bends.

I do want to feel special, and loved.

I do not want to be the one who surrenders all the time.

I do want to feel heard.

I do want to feel like I matter, in a sincere way.

I don’t want to be the one who always has to figure the other person out, I want it to be an equal effort.

 

Bend in the Wind

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I have these really cool shells I got from North Carolina with pictures drawn on them of seaside symbols. One of them is of beach grass, and the symbol is about bending in all kinds of wind. Be the one who bends. I use that image a lot in my relationships. I know I bend a lot. It feels good sometimes to have that flexibility.  It is hard to be in relationships with others who do not bend and always get to play the role of the wind.

Let today be a day of relationship awareness for you. Make your wish-list and then write about what you could do better for your relationships with family and/or partners. Write about what you are still healing from and what is preventing you from healing.

I wish you all find that tranquil space in your heart to know that you are loved, accepted and compassionate. It all begins at the source with ourselves. If we all had those three things, we would be good to one another.

I found this really nice and well written blog this morning too if you want to check out more useful information on this topic.

 

 

 

Finding Tranquility Everyday Day 22: Building a Tranquil Vision Board

Only a Virgo would put Tranquility and Organizing in the same sentence. I iStock_000025919769Mediumhave to admit, when I am organized, my thoughts are organized, my time, and my practice. When I can just sit at my desk without moving a pile of paperwork, that means I have a clean slate to work with.

I have been making small payments to have shelves made for my office to a woodworker. I am getting closer to getting it done, and I am thrilled, since I spend many hours a week in my office space for my business. The paper work pile up has been increasing since my life involves a business, kid’s, a rental property, and whatever else I am trying to learn about in life.

Yesterday, I took at my bulletin board, which is a sort of vision board. It starts out clean on New Year’s, and then gets cluttered up with lists, calendars, my sons crafts from school, oracle cards, quotes and inspirational finds of all kinds. Well, it was so cluttered, I think I stopped looking at it. Yesterday I took it all down.

I needed a fresh start.

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The way I look at it, I set one year goals in January, and it is August, I got 3 solid months left to accomplish some things I set I to do this year. As I took down items off my board, I started a list of what I wanted to finish this year. It really helped empower my thoughts. Remember the planting your celestial garden blog? Well this fell along that track.

I am only as powerful as my intentions.

My intention to focus on what is important is essential to my life. I am excited to build an end of the year vision board. So my list of goals includes:

  • Finishing my online herb school program
  • Fall Gardening and Planting
  • Planning a full day with my mother this fall
  • Saving for the holidays
  • Schedule my birthday week off
  • Spending an afternoon at the Herb Society in their library
  • Getting to the Art Museum
  • Winning our court case
  • Finish something I am writing

So, here are some vision board ideas you can do to get yourself ready for fall. Think of this as a self devotional space for your wall. I like doing it as a bulletin board, rather than a poster board collage because I think to take things down as I accomplish them. I think keeping your list to 10 things or less at this point in the year will be good.

You will need

  • Cork-board or something to pin things too
  • Your power list of end of the year goals, be realistic
  • A few things to charge it up, like positive quotes, poetry you like, pictures that inspire
  • Thumbtacks
  • Flyers for events you want to attend
  • A print out of a calendar maybe highlighting some possible end dates if you like that to keep you on track.
  • Maybe your word of the year, cut out and posted real big for to remember
  • Your intentions written out clearly at the top of the board.
  • Any other things that you feel will inspire you.
  • Save some room to add to it later, and remember to check in on your board once a day to remind yourself of your visions
  • Clean it up every new or full moon

When you are ready, go to town pinning things up. Make it your own personal, real live pinterest board. I am excited for this approaching full moon. I feel the energy building towards my intentions, but just how my life is lining up.

 

Finding Tranquility Everyday Day 21: Morning Tranquility Meditation

Good Morning!

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Today marks that threshold of being close to the finish of our 30 days. With limited setbacks, I feel I have really accomplished something these last 21 days. I am excited to bring to you and audio recording for you to enjoy for your meditation practices.

At this point, I would suggest you try to engage in a 10 minute practice now, everyday. This would be a great investment in your time and is an easy goal towards developing a meditation practice. I enjoyed my practice outside today. I feel the most tranquil and detached outside. Outside, I am away from my office, my chores and my family, so I can really engaged in some much needed quietude.

I hope you enjoy this short practice. You need around 13 mins to listen to the whole audio, but eventually you can skip the intro and just do the breathing and meditation pieces. I wish you a tranquil day!

Benefits of Meditation and Mindful Breathing Practices

  • Better Sleep
  • Improved Concentration
  • Feeling of Balance in the Mind and Body
  • Clarity of Thoughts
  • Mindfulness
  • Better Listening Skills
  • Reduction of the Monkey Mind

Nadi Shodanum and Meditation Audio

Enjoy this Audio introducing you to the channel purification breath and self-guided meditation practice. All you will need is a quiet place to sit, a comfortable way of sitting in a chair or on the ground so your spine is straight, and a way to listen to this recording.

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Mudra or hand positioning for Nadi Shodanum Breath

Finding Tranquility Everyday Day 20: The Tranquil Sunday To Do List

Today, just pick one thing to do for yourself that is self-care.

Grow your Self and your Yoga Practice

Here is a list of all the things I have offered you these last 20 days, and a few new!

  1. Take a yoga class somewhere new
  2. Make yourself an amazing healthy meal with all this fresh farm produce out there. (this is my thing today)
  3. Try a new yoga pose after you do your salutations.
  4. Refresh your sacred space for the start of your next week, sage it up good!
  5. Make yourself a new playlist for the week for your yoga or your drive to work.
  6. Try the neti pot. 
  7. Try a different meditation. 
  8. Journal, on anything with a cup of tea, a glass of wine, and some soft music.
  9. Take a bath or foot bath.
  10. Go to the beach and watch the sunset, or a twilight walk in the park.

How to Sage Your Sacred Space

Macro or close up of dried bush of sage on abalone shell

  1. Buy a sage smudge stick or clumps of white sage
  2. Gather a bowl of sand or salt to extinguish with
  3. Take a few cleansing breaths and then light then end of your sage with the intention being to purify yourself and your space.
  4. “Smudge” or circulate the smoke of the sage around you and the area you wish to cleanse.
  5. You can do this with windows closed and then open them or keep them open the whole time.
  6. Extinguish the sage in your bowl.
  7. Sit quietly for a moment and just notice.

All of these things sound good to me! Enjoy a peaceful Sunday.